Most of us carry wounds and hurts from the past. These may have happened with family members, peers, or even members of the clergy or other trusted individuals. Or it may have been a sudden death or other tragedy that touched us. Because of these difficult experiences, we tend to close off and avoid situations and people that might cause us further pain. Unfortunately, in doing this we also close ourselves off from others, the world around us, and from our Source.
In these small groups, we become part of a sacred space where we can safely and openly talk about our hurts, our fears, our anger, our despair.. and our hope and faith. Over time, we create together a loving community in which we know each other¹s life journeys and we support and lift each other up. We move out of alienation and despair into loving connection and new hope for our lives.
This is the promise of new life that all religions talk of. These small groups will contain people of different faith traditions and we treat each other¹s faith journey with respect, for it is indeed our faith that will make us well.
ABIDING IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE
In Meeting Three, we experienced a vision of what our life might look like if we saw ourselves as God sees us- with unconditional love. We drew up living visions of exactly how our life might look different when we live from Source rather than out of our limiting beliefs of who we are. These could be in the area of health, relationships, finances, home, spirituality, etc. Below is the homework for the next Meeting Four. It is vital to complete this homework prior to the class as this will be the basis for the work we do in the class with one another.
In Meeting Four, we began the process of Self forgiveness in class. This is a rich and sometimes challenging area to work in. Sometimes we are not aware of how much we stand in judgement of ourselves. As I have said, if you experience anxiety or depression on any kind of regular basis, then you are judging yourself. Sometimes we just experience these emotions and don't know what the underlying dialogue is. If you give the the depression or anxiety a voice and let it speak, then you will see what the self judgments are. Another thing to watch is where you judge others - probably you have judgments against yourself in those same areas. Good luck hunting down these old critical voices and releasing them through self forgiveness!
HOMEWORK FOR MTG. FOUR: FORGIVENESS
PART ONE: Introduction
Matt 18: 21,22
Then Peter came to him and asked,"Lord, How often
should I forgive a brother who sins against me? Seven times?
"No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!"
Forgiving ourselves, forgiving others, and allowing ourselves to be in turn forgiven are some of the most fundamental spiritual practices available to us and one of the beautiful gifts of Christianity to our imperfect human world. For judgment is one of the greatest obstacles to our connection to God, to connection to the Beloved.
In this homework exercise, we are going to focus on releasing Self Judgment because there is a huge vein of spiritual gold to be mined in Self Forgiveness. You will be asked to examine a self judgment that shows up frequently in your life: a judgment you make about yourself, or a judgment that you think others ( including God ) hold against you. If you think you are beyond self judgment, look at where depression and anxiety show up in your life. This should give you ample opportunities to examine !
In taking this inventory it is important that you not get bogged down in shame or self reproach just as much as not allowing yourself to go back over any well traveled paths of anger and resentment. Be loving and accepting of yourself. Keep some compassion and humor about our human predicament and the deviousness of our inner critics in judging everything. While doing this inventory you may find it very helpful to play some spiritual music such as Vaughn Williams’ Fantasia on a Theme of Thomas Tallis.
As you do this self forgiveness inventory you might feel strong emotions welling up. Take some time out if you need it to talk / write to God about these hurts, disappointments, and self judgments and your desire to be free of them. Be open to Him / Her responding lovingly to you. There may be a feeling of hurt, sadness, or grief that wells up within you as you do this work. This is a good sign that your work is going deep and that your corresponding healing will be deep too. Be gentle with yourself as you go through this process. It may take time and you don’t need to rush it. Even Self Forgiveness happens on God’s time not on our time.
ABIDING IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE
HOMEWORK FOR MEETING FOUR; PART TWO
SELF FORGIVENESS WORKSHEET for Something you judge yourself for or feel judged by others for. NOTE: If you believe God is judging you then consult the list of question from pg. 177 in Making Peace with God (see yellow handout.)
These two categories (judging ourselves or feeling judged by others) are very much the same issue. For if we are bothered by a judgment that someone is holding against us, then there is some self judgment within us agreeing with them. Reflect on situations or aspects of yourself where you still carry self judgment, guilt, shame, regret. Fearlessly (and lovingly) make a list of your self judgments. Then chose the aspect or situation that has the most charge for you in your life now. Describe this situation or aspect of yourself for which you judge yourself or feel judged by others.
Describe how this judgment makes you feel.
Makes me feel depressed, hopeless, powerless, angry,etc.
How do you think holding onto this judgment may serve you
( or your ego defenses ) ?
Prompts:
Goads me on to greater achievement which I wouldn’t otherwise be motivated to do?
Protects me from further harm or judgment from others ?
Keeps me from getting disappointed and hurt again ?
Gives me an excuse for not expecting much of myself ?
How does this judgment not serve you ? Make a list.
Now look inside and see if you are willing to give up the benefits you imagine you might get from holding onto this judgment ?
I am willing to let go of the benefit of ___________ .
(Be as specific as possible.)
Examples:
I am willing to let go of using my self judgment to push me to work hard at __________ so I will avoid failure.
I am willing to let go of denigrating myself to win sympathy / acceptance / __________ from others.
ABIDING IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE
IMPORTANT GUIDELINE: In this next part it is important to connect with the Loving inside of you. Do this in a safe pace at home, play some loving music and try placing your hand on your heart.
Now ask yourself if you willing to let go of any thoughts and feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness and powerlessness you feel around this judgment ?
Examples:
I am willing to let go of judging and believing negative thing about myself such as:
Prompts:
I can’t do __________ because I am ( not smart enough, too weak, too timid, etc., etc.) _________.
I will never be ______________ because __________.
God will never love me because of ______________.
Others will never accept me because I am ________.
I will never attract a life partner because I am _____.
Finally, release the judgment by forgiving yourself as follows:
I forgive myself for judging myself as being ____________. or
I forgive myself for buying into the belief that I am __________.
Be thorough and specific about the ways that you have judged yourself over this incident or aspect of yourself. Review the sample sheet on the next page for examples of how to do this
Ending process:
As you move into forgiveness of self and others, let yourself feel the love coming into the space in your heart that once was occupied by judgment. Let yourself abide in the House of Love.
To deepen the work, you might try something like the following affirmations while placing your hand over your heart:
Even though I am not perfect, I am worthy of my own acceptance, caring and love.
Even though I am not perfect, I am worthy of God’s unconditional love for me.
I release myself from the belief that God needs to judge and punish myself
or anyone else.
I rest in the peace of forgiveness and the balm of loving for myself and others.
For the Truth is -I am worthy of God's Love and good enough to do what He/She has
called me to do.
Express gratitude and give the love back: In Anonymous Programs there is a saying: In order to keep recovery you have to give it away. Thank God for His / Her unconditional love for you and extend it out to all the other human beings who are suffering in their own self condemnation.
ABIDING IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE
SAMPLES OF SELF FORGIVENESS
These examples are provided just to give you an idea of how to structure a self forgiveness, not the exact content of your own particular self forgiveness. Also note the affirmation of the truth in the second sentence which completes the release of the self judgment.
I forgive myself for judging myself as whiny and unworthy of standing up for myself and my rights. For the truth is I am voicing my opinions as best I can and worthy of calling attention to matters that are important to me.
I forgive myself for judging myself as poor and unworthy of abundance. For the truth is I am worthy of the fatted calf, just as my (prodigal son) brother was. I have the inheritance of my Creator as my very own.
I forgive myself for judging myself as fat and ugly. For the truth is I am consciously dealing with my weight and God doesn't make ugly people. I am beautiful and working on my weight.
I forgive myself for judging myself as a bad person. For the truth is I am a good person with good intentions doing the best I can.
I forgive myself for judging myself as a bad and unworthy parent.
For the truth is, I am attentive and attuned to my child/ren and ordained by God to receive the parenting task!
I forgive myself for judging myself as being pressed beyond endurance.When the truth is -- life is giving me the great Grace of learning the lessons for staying "awake" with TRUST.
I forgive myself for judging myself as rotten for being afraid and not working hard enough. When the truth is I am a being of Divine nature and power and I am manifesting that nature with all the Light I have right now.
I forgive myself for judging myself as a coward and unworthy for not speaking up for myself when confronted. When the the truth is that I have come in my uniqueness and my beauty. And I am so conceived and so constituted as to bravely manifest my loving nature.
MEETING TWO HIGHLIGHTS AND HOMEWORK FOR MEETING THREE
For those of you who missed Meeting Two, we experienced what it would be like if we fully got how much God loved us. In the next meeting coming up we will be exploring how our lives might look differently if we could remember how much we are beloved by God. Below you will find the homework assignments for Meeting Three and some of the exercises we did in Meeting Two.
HOMEWORK FOR MEETING THREE
Continue thinking about what spiritual qualities you would like to manifest more in your life. Write an affirmation that contains these qualities. Refer back to the pre meeting homework and the instructions on affirmations to see how to do this. We will share this in meeting three in the large group sharing.
Read Chapter 4, pgs... 39-52 “How it Feels to Return to Spirit”in Wayne Dyer’s book Inspiration - your ultimate calling
Read the material about the Alchemy Box and and
start implementing Phase One as shown below:
Claim Your Dream!
Your dreams and desires are sacred and holy because they arise from your most authentic self, your soul. When you choose to bring love and enthusiasm to your Heart’s desire, the whole process takes on a magical and healing quality. You stop going against the grain and begin to float gracefully toward what you want, not effortlessly, but gracefully. This process can help remove your obstacles and allow you to find your balance in manifesting your personal heartfelt dreams.
What inner qualities will your symbolic items represent? What inner desire does your soul self want? These are questions we hope to find answers and direction for. If you are stuck on the fence, unable to lovingly support your own path, this exercise may guide you into the direct manifestation of what you were hoping for.
Here is a ritual to illustrate your soul’s commitment to your dream. It requires your agreement to surrender your personal will into the hands of your experience or view of a ‘Higher Self’. Remember, forgiveness lightens the load. You are the BELOVED and YOU deserve to manifest your dreams.
How do you know what to focus on? When you have a true desire, you have a burning urge for some particular experience or outcome. This burning, intense, passionate longing is the creative spark that sets miracle making into motion. True Heart’s Desires are felt in the present moment and reflect your most immediate needs and concerns. Authentic desires are fueled with passion and intensity and are felt in your immediate circumstances, not in a faraway or distant future. We are looking at the needs and desires you have right now.
First principle of creativity is that you create what you focus on. Focus is the key. Bring it up front and close, meaning sharpening your awareness on a very tight, specific area – like today, tomorrow, this week.
Are you focusing on how much you dislike your job? Shift your focus to experiencing working a job you love passionately. Unhappy in your relationship? Shift your focus to feeling loved and appreciated. Shift from concentration on how broke you are to experiencing abundance. Do you dwell on how unfulfilled, uninspired, or unproductive you are? Shift to a focus of feeling motivated, creative and productive. What you experience is as of now. Tomorrow is still being created.
Rule #1…Travel Lightly…don’t be attached to your fears, leave behind your
presumptions about the way life works.
Rule #2…Take Responsibility…You are a Divine creator and as such have already
created many miracles in your life.
Rule #3…Don’t be a control freak! Being a control freak means that you want
guarantees of success before you take a risk.
Create your own Alchemy Box
or Transformational Toolbox
Creating an alchemy box or tool box is fun and stimulates your creative energy while you work. The process takes time and preparation, each act inspiring a decision from you to support your Heart’s Desire in an outward way. The entire activity can be accomplished by spending ten to fifteen minutes a day for a week or two. The exercise will be divided into three phases of activity.
Phase One:
First you’ll need a box with a lid. Good choices are a shoe box, a took kit, cookie tin, hatbox, a cigar or a jewelry box. You can even decorate a large envelope and use this as your sacred vessel. ( It’s not the box that is magical, but your intended use of it that makes it special ). You can even ask a trusted friend to help if necessary.
Next you’ll need to begin collecting scissors, glue, tissue paper, heroic figures, or any representation of the experience you are invoking. Let your imagination and inner child run wild! Other examples of things you may collect are:
Holy pictures ( angels, saints, Buddha, Stars of David, African Kings )
Dollar signs, celestial beings, photos that represent places or people
houses, caps and gowns, musical instruments, hearts or images
flowers, lavender and roses (for calming and love)
toy cars, construction tools or machinery, carpet, paint, art
You can decorate your entire box outside and inside by using stickers, words collages, rhinestones, buttons, contact paper or anything that you like
Find a photo of yourself in your happiest moment (if needed, take a new one) and glue it to the inside cover of your box. You may also want to glue a small pocket mirror to the inside cover to reflect who you are and what you heart longs for. Arts & Crafts stores, hardware stores, or other places that bring you joy can be used to invoke the intended experience.
Let the child in you come out to play. Count on your own imagination to deliver appropriate and inspirational images to you. Synchronicity will surely play a part in all of this and what you need for representation will pop into your mind and path.
Decorating the box is not limited to covering its surfaces. You can also put things into your box
to further energize its magic.
ABIDING IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE: Mtg. Two
PRACTICE THREE: Seeing the Divinity in Others
"The eye with which I see God is the eye with which He sees me."
Meister Eckhart
Introduction:
Martin Buber talked about I -It relationships and I-Thou relationships, In an I-It relationship we are interested in what we ( our ego ) can get out of the relationship. In an I-Thou relationship we suspend our ego interests and give ourselves to the Other. In fact, we let go of the distinction of the Other and we feel that we are somehow “the same inside” And that “same insideness” is the Divine nature that shines through us all.
Directions for Seeing the Divinity in Others:
Relax. Breathe. Let go.
Let yourself align with the Divinity inside of you.
Look at the other person and remember that they also share that same Divinity within themselves.
Smile and say to the other person “ hello ______”
as if you were smiling and saying hello to yourself in the mirror in the morning.
Remember that you now have the opportunity to share with another manifestation of the Divine something real and meaningful about a life that is “fully human fully Divine.”
ABIDING IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE : Meeting Two
PRACTICE FOUR: Mirroring and Prizing
The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, from self blessing,
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing it's loveliness,
to put a hand on the brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from self-blessing.
--from “Saint Francis Blessing the Sow” by Galway Kinnel
Introduction:
When we share deeply with others about ourselves and what is meaningful and what has been painful to us, we often feel vulnerable. Did they really hear us ? Are they judging us ? Simply being lovingly , non judgmentally present with someone and hearing their story is one of the greatest and most healing gifts we have to give to each other.
Mirroring and Prizing are ways that we feed back to the one who has opened themselves to us that we really get their experience and cherish it. In mirroring, just as it implies, we mirror back to them what we hear and see about their sharing, both the words and the emotional content. In Prizing, we let them know what value we have gotten from their sharing.
Directions:
Align yourself with God’s Love. Breathe. Rest in the Love.
Always remember that you are having a meaningful conversation with another Child of God.
In Mirroring and Prizing, simply feed back to the person what you heard and how you felt about it: When you said you left your family when you were sixteen, I was touched by your courage to risk leaving them and going on your own.
